Tentacles of the Technoctopus

Just blagging my thoughts on the web

Menu
  • About
    • Gifts Baby… Gifts
  • Strikebreaking
Menu

Wherein: Nathan Almost Kills Himself

Posted on March 6, 2008January 20, 2009 by admin

So there I was, holding fire.

Let me back up.

I decided to make myself some dinner. I had this box of spaghetti from 1943 that said “Support your troops: Buy War Bonds” on it, but my mom ensured me that spaghetti does not, in fact, go bad. So I thanked her for suffering through a retarded phone conversation with me then got to work. I cooked up the spaghetti in one pot and some delicious turkey in the other to mix with my canned Ragu.

One obvious problem. I had defrosted the turkey by putting it in the fridge some hours previous which, in fact, did nothing to defrost the turkey. So after hacking and tearing it to pieces I managed to cut off a good enough chunk of ground turkey to cook. Next step… cooking it. At my grandma’s house I’m living at now I don’t know where everything is, but eventually I found some extra virgin olive oil and was minorly foiled as it had a cork for a topper (normally I fill the cap with oil, pour and go), so I poured a bit too much, started it a-sizzling and then dropped in the turkey.

Well it turns out olive oil is flamable, and some must have splashed over the side because I blinked and then the whole stove was full of fire and I went “Dizam!” And grabbed it. I started for the sink when I looked down and paused, realizing I was holding the very short handle to a pot spewing flames in every direction, and I couldnt help but remember that oil tends to explode and splatter when hot.

So there I was, holding fire.

I probably didn’t actually pause all that long before tossing the pan in the sink, using water to put out the fire, then putting the turkey back on (and eating a delish meal).

My only concern then was if I undercooked the Turkey or not but eh, whatcha gunna do? Eating raw Turkey can’t be bad for you right?

(Before everyone chimes in to tell me that Turkey has Salmonella, I looked that up to… but Im still alive so I think I’m fine)

Moral of the Story: Nathan’s an idiot.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Tentacles of the Technoctopus

Wherein I write about whatever's on my mind in the hopes that I find a little bit of common ground with the other spacemen hurtling around this damn place.

The Past!

Blogroll

  • Cool Design and Food Site
  • Get me a Gift
  • Interesting Random Blog I Found
  • Straight to Heck
  • Tasha’s Getting Married
  • The Call to Adventure
  • TJQ'S BBQ(blogbque?)

Tags

a poem about dreaming and dying A slow downward spiral blood for the blood god Boooring Depressing Everybody writes poetry these days exchange 2007 Food Review fuck the japanese are weird General genius ideas Gluttony is my favorite sin Henry Phillips Hitting on Random Chicks Horror Journalism Houston how do you spell existentialism? hurricane ike I'm not the World Champion of Anything I almost killed myself with fire I am Trader Joe's Bitch I didn't write it but I dig it I didn't write this Life Life Updates Living in Interesting Times mark lewis Movie Review Music Review My Budding Comedic Career Nathan's an Idiot nerdville Nobody Cares Punching the Clown Retarded People Exploding review Sci-Fi is Dead Sleeping storytelling The Japanese are Fucking Weird Things to do in Los Angeles while you're fucked up Weird Dreams Wherein I almost die Workin' in LA Writing

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries RSS
  • Comments RSS
  • WordPress.org
© 2025 Tentacles of the Technoctopus | Theme by Superbthemes