More coming soon, I promise. One of the big observations I had in Houston, it’s about as hot/muggy as I expected it to be. Having spent a summer climbing roofs with my dad in Missouri this isn’t hugely different. As such though I came to a realization about something amazingly awesome about the sticky Texas heat.

That’s right, I now love the Texas heat

And here’s why. When my fatass walks up some stairs. I break into a sweat. But here in Houston… EVERYONE breaks into a sweat just walking outside. No matter how hot some chick is, she HAS to sweat, because it’s Houston. So I don’t look like a sweaty gross fat guy. Just a fat guy.

This is awesome. So far so good.

Tags: , ,

Posted by admin - 25/08/08 - 0 comments

 

I have touched down in Sunny Wet Houston, and already my journal has been one chalked (Chocked?) full of adventures. I made train friends and will have some pictures forthwith, I do declare. All that. Anyways I found a nearby source of free internets hosted generously by someone named “Superdave”, to whom this internets entry is dedicated. My first order of buisness before typing away on the net, was to wash of 36 hours of train stink. Now most of you who know me are probably thinking “C’mon, what’s 36 hours without a shower to you?” And while I’d normally agree with you, I carried a lot of heavy bags, sweated profusely, and then didn’t have clothes to change for 36 hours, so I was the definition of ‘sweltering swamp ass’. Upon arriving I found that the house is very new and nice, and there are two miniature shnauzers here who bark -alot-. I befriended them early in hopes of cutting that out. So far so good, I’m the only one here and they’re either dead, or otherwise occupied, because the only sound in here is the whirling of the ceiling fan. Which is awesome considering I’ve been listening to the grinding of train wheels and the train whistle for the past 2ish days.

So upon trying to take my shower I realized that… while there was a shower curtain thoughtfully left for me by the girls here, there were no hooks for it. So I was unable to take a shower and had to instead take a bath. I figured I’d give a good verbal account of what transpired and save taking digital pictures. The tub was a normal sized bathtub, but I’m certainly not a normal sized dude. When sitting up in the tub, my feet stretched the full length of the tub, with my ass at the back end, which meant when it was time to wash my torso, I had to lift my feet and legs totally out of the tub, as though I was sitting on the wall facing the tub. Hillarity ensued. Of course I was all by my onesies appreciating it but… whatever ;)

Anyways. I’m here, all is wellish and I’ll have pictures soon.

Tags: , ,

Posted by admin - 22/08/08 - 0 comments

 

I’ve had keys since I was little. I was a latch key kid as young as elementary school. Which means ever since I was like… 7… I’ve had keys to a house, or a car, or a something. Now, as I leave for Houston, I find myself having one set of keys, which I’m giving to my sister when I go. Once I give her those keys, it’ll be the first time in 20 years when I just… don’t have any keys. No locks will yield do me. And for a brief stint, until I get there, I’m technically homeless.

I mean not really. But mostly. I also have 8 dollars in my bank account, which I’ll probably spend on food on the train. Furthermore, I’m really hoping that Hurricane Fran whacks the shit out of Houston the day I arrive. That way this section of my autobiography can begin with:

“The hobo rode the rails into Houston on the wings of a hurricane”

named Fran.

Anyways, Im out. See some of you tonight, and the rest of you… later.

Tags: ,

Posted by admin - 19/08/08 - 0 comments

 

It’s probably nothing, but I noticed today while we’re racking up medals in running and sailing and swimming and biking… China is racking up medals in Judo, Fencing, Kicking Guys In the Balls, Shooting (they named the sport shooting? Fuck yeah), Wrestling, Archery, Weightlifting

Like… dude…

And then of course they won Trampolinging, Table Tennis, and Badminton.

Here’s my thing. I feel you. I’ll bet the world champion of Badminton is pretty bad ass. But who would you rather have in your back against the Terminator? Him, or the guy with the gold medal in SHOOTING or VIOLENCE or JUDO

And to quote Richard Pryor:

“That’s a lot of people waiting for you outside ‘Rich, there’s 60 billion dudes waitin’ on you’ a– outside. I can help you with two of ‘em.’”

And they know Karate.

Tags: , , ,

Posted by admin - 18/08/08 - 0 comments

 

You can’t see my sudden smirk
as a lifetimes mischief seeps back into me
If I was Puck I’d lead you astray
And seduce you in moonlit woods

but I am not Puck, and my
forests are long since farmed for lumber.
And seduction has given way to alcoholic ramblings

But that doesn’t stop me from dreaming

That’s right my dear you may not know it
But we are in love, and have two children
I’ll name them Mab and Teardrop
One for the madness from waking alone
And another for sorrow yet falling

Perhaps one day you and I will wed
You’ld think that’d be my dream
To be in love, and be in life
for ever with hearts immortal

But I came from a home of broken families and broken dreams
I live in a place where I know, all this thought is just fantasy

Because in my dreams there is no doubt
or fear of tomorrow’s lies
There is only me and you.
A sea of roses
and love in our eyes

Tags: , , ,

Posted by admin - 15/08/08 - 0 comments

 

The LJ Prompt for today was interesting. Hemmingway wrote a 6 word story “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” Dayv’s was solid too “The unicorn wandered Los Angeles, riderless.” Mine is on topic for the story I’m about to tell, and seems more like an noir novel than anything else “A Mercy Killing never needed more.”

I am about to go see pinneapple express, and it doesn’t strike me as the kind of movie I can see totally sober, so I thought I’d drink a bit before I drove over. My drink of choice for the past few months has been an Irish Carbomb. You fill a pint glass with a bottle of guiness, which leaves some room at the top, then fill a shot glass half full of bailys and half full of jameson. For those who haven’t tried it… you’re really missing out. I’ll have some at my Hot Hot Desert Party this weekend. Only I’m currently out of Guiness. So instead I made a drink that I wanted to call something like “The Down on your luck Carbomb” or “Trailer Park Carbomb” but after drinking my Bud Light, Bailys and Jameson, I found the perfect name for it “The Mercy Killing”. No sooner did I finish drinking it then the horrible mix of WAY too cold bud light, and the other ingedients began to expand and I had these horrible visions of a seagull fed Alka seltzer so I began punching myself in the stomach in hopes of ventilating some of the vapors. I eventually had to clutch my stomach, stumble into the living room and fall into a chair and pant for like 2 minutes. Never was a drink more appropriately named.

I’m going to have one more then go see the movie.

Tags: , , , ,

Posted by admin - 14/08/08 - 0 comments

 

There are very few moments in my life that I’ve been so overwhelmed by happyness and love that I don’t know what to do. More recently than in times past, but tonight was one of those times. Nate’s wedding was awesome. Cody’s wedding was perfect. Watching the first dance was heartwrenching. Everything about it hit on every note and filled my heart full of promise and good hopes for the future in a way I haven’t felt in some time. I just felt so happy and confident that there was goodness in the world.

I’m sure all the booze didn’t hurt either.

Cody and Hallie. I’m so happy for you.

Tags: , ,

Posted by admin - 09/08/08 - 0 comments

 

They had a marathon on TV a few years back of “The Scariest Moments in Movies” and I remember one of the top things was this guy taking a pair of scissors, and opening his mouth and ramming his head down on them.

I totally almost did that accidentally last night. Well no. I did do that, just not with scissors. While driving to Victorville on leg one of the wedding trip I was chewing on a straw and half asleep. My subconscious apparently decided ‘I know how to wake him up’. And I took the straw and jammed it at full force… as hard as I could, into the back of my throat… right where the fleshy juicy bits of your mouth are.

I have no clue why I did it. But holy christ. I’m still in pain the next morning.

Tags: , ,

Posted by admin - 08/08/08 - 0 comments